Ever had a friend whose best idea for how to win an ex boyfriend back was to show up at his house with a casserole and a list of apologies? Remember how embarrassed you were for her? So, now you’re in the same position and know exactly how she felt, but just because you can sympathize with her doesn’t mean you have to act like her. If you’re hoping to get your guy back without losing your self-respect, here’s what you can do.
Learn how men think!
The main reason so many of us are willing to do over-the-top things when trying to figure out how to win an ex boyfriend back is because those things work on us. Think about it: gifts, lover letters, persistent phone calls—even if those tactics are annoying, when they come from a man you once loved, they do get to you, don’t they?
Men, on the other hand, just don’t work that way. It may sound harsh, but your guy isn’t going to shed tears of remorse over your heart-felt love letter. In order to avoid doing something that’s going to make you look like some crazy stalker chick, spend some time learning how to communicate in a calm, logical style your guy can relate to.
Accentuate the positive!
Like our friend in the introduction, some women go out of their way to prove to their ex that they can live without him. They start wearing flashy clothes or going to nightclubs even if they don’t feel comfortable doing it. Unfortunately, this trick is pretty easy for a guy to see through. After all, if you weren’t doing those things before you met him, the only reason you’d be doing them after the break up…is him. That doesn’t exactly make you look independent, now does it? Instead of trying to transform yourself into someone else, become a better version of the person you were before you met your ex.
Find things to do together!
You didn’t spend all your time making out, did you? (And if you did, that explains the relationship troubles.) You spent time together on hobbies and activities that you both enjoyed. If you’re looking for a way to see your ex again, this is your in. Say you both belonged to a bird watching club. You could join a different bird watching club and invite him to the first big event they have.
One of the best tips around for how to win an ex boyfriend back is to simply be mature and reasonable. Whining and blaming your ex for everything that went wrong is definitely not classy. Instead, be the better woman and accept your fair share of the blame—no more, no less.
This means you have to take a close look at anything you might have done to make him want to get away from you. Were you getting a little demanding because you’d started taking him for granted? Were you overly emotional because you felt him starting to drift away and panicked? If so, accept responsibility for your behavior and try to explain what caused it.
Follow these steps for how to win an ex boyfriend back and even if your guy chooses not to return, at least you’ll keep your self respect.
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